I have lost it.
Yesterday was an unbelievably hard day for me.
I have been really sick since Friday with horrible sinus problems that caused one of the worst headaches of my life and a fever. By Sunday I convinced myself that I was ok. I was not. Crawling into bed for the day was not an option. Eric was at work all day and I had committed to too may things to stay home. For some reason I thought I could do it all...sick. I took all three girls to church. I caught a panty infraction on the way out the door. I taught the Relief Society lesson. It was horrible. I could not concentrate and felt really confused. I went home and cried until it was time to take all three girls to the Stake Fireside where I was in charge of a display on Family Home Evening. I don't know if it was all the medications I was taking or because I was sick and week, but I could not stop crying. As soon we would get it the car I would cry. Whenever people were not looking at me, I would cry. I was trying so hard to just keep it together.
I forced myself to run this marathon day while sick because I did not want to let people down or put someone out at the last minute. I did do it all- but I did a horrible job at everything...then cried that that.
7 comments:
It sounds like an awful Sunday for you. It's nice that you didn't want to let anyone down, but if you're that sick it's okay to ask for help. You poor girl. I hope you can stay in bed today. (Kudos for catching the panty infraction even though you were so sick!)
Oh Chanel, I was wondering how it went yesterday. I am so sorry you are so sick! I wish I could have been there to help you out! I am sure things went alot better than you think they did. I hope you get lots of rest this week!
Chanel, I'm so mad at you that you didn't just stay home and have a jammy day. I would have taken your kids!!! I think I'm the only one who has earned the crying mother merit badge, I am with you! I hope you are 100% soon, but whew, what a day to recover from, sounds utterly draining.
ok, so everyday i have come up with more ideas for the FHE table... i am a loser that i didnt' know it was on Sunday. i have created in my mind this huge display with a tablecloth patchworked... la te da...
girl i am so sorry about the day. i have had too many of those days. but i will tell you one great thing i can guarantee that came out of that day. is your girls watching a mom who served, that will never leave them.. they will forget the part about you rocking in the corner. oh i am so sorry.
Chanel,
That sounds like a huge day, even feeling really good. I am so sorry you had to tackle it alone and ill. Sometimes a good long cry day is just what I needed.
I am laughing a bit about the panty infraction, I can't help it!
I am glad that Sunday is behind you. Remember next time it's okay to say my plate is too full. Wish I was there to help you teach your lesson. Glad you are finally feeling better today :)
I am reading this late, and man, Chanel. Ugh, those days are hard, especially because you were putting in so much effort to be there and show up and serve, and were still unhappy with the lesson (which I have no doubt was great, anyway.) Exhausting, not wanting to drop a ball. And to be the reliable dependable willing one, the one who covers for others when they don't show, yet would not want to put someone out. A great trait, not willing to be another's burden. But a killer, somedays. I am glad you are past the big day, and wonder if you would do the same next time. Probably? Who knows. You are a champion.
Post a Comment